Wee Hughie came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. ” What’s the story this time. Hughie ? ” he asked sarcastically. ” Let’s hear a good excuse for a change. ” Wee Hughie sighed, ” Everything went wrong this morning. The wife decided to drive me to the harbour. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the ferry didn’t turn up. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river, ran over the mountain, borrowed a bicycle and cycled the 20 miles through the glen to this office. ” You’ll have to do better than that. Hughie, ” said his boss, disappointed. ” No woman can be ready in ten minutes.”
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There were 3 blonde men who found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out. The genie said, “I am the great Genie! I shall grant you 3 wishes. Since there are 3 of you, you each get one.” The first man wished that he was smart. The genie turned him into a re head. The senond asked to be even smarter than the first. The genie turned him into a brunette. The third wished to be the smarter than both of the others, so the genie turned him into a woman!
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A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?”

“What dear?” She asked gently.

“I think you bring me bad luck.”
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“God, ” said Adam, “Why did you make Eve so beautiful?”

“So you would love her.”

“But why did you make her so dumb?”

“So she would love you.”
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3 men were walking along a river that was 200 feet wide. One the other side of the river, they see tents and food. They all make 1 wish each: The 1st guy asks God,”God, please give me a pair of wings, so I can fly across the river and eat.” In an instant, a pair of wings appear, and he flies across the river. Half-way across, a lightning strikes him and he falls into the river and dies. The 2nd guy asks God,”God, please give me a sailboat, so I can sail across the river and eat.” In an instant, a sailboat appear, and he sails across the river. Half-way across the river, the wind blows him down stream and he falls out of the boat and dies.The 3rd guy makes his wish to himself. Suddenly, he turns into a woman, and walks across the bridge.

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