Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of nowhere. The government said, “Someone may steal from the scrap yard at night. So they created a night watchman position and hired a person (bilingual, naturally) for the job.

Then the government said, “How can the watchman do his job without instruction?” So they created a planning department and hired two people; one person to write the job description and one person to do time studies. Then the government said, “How will we know the night watchman is performing the tasks correctly?” So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people; one to do the studies and one to write the reports.Then the government said, “How are these people going to get paid?” So they created the following positions: a Time Keeper and a Payroll Officer; then hired two more people to assist. Then the government said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?” So they created an Administrative Section and hired three people: an Administrative Officer, an Assistant Administrative Officer and a Legal Secretary.

Then the Government said, “We have had this organization in operation for only one year and we are $1,180,000 over budget; we must cut back our overall costs.

So they laid off the night watchman !!!

A little girl walked to and from school daily. Though the weather that morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily trek to the elementary school. As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning.

The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened as she walked home from school and she herself feared that the electrical storm might harm her child. Following the roar of thunder, lightning, like a flaming sword, would cut through the sky. Full of concern, the mother quickly got into her car and drove along the route to her child’s school.

As she did so, she saw her little girl walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up and smile.

Another and another were to follow quickly and with each the little girl would look at the streak of light and smile.

When the mother’s car drew up beside the child she lowered the window and called to her, “What are you doing? Why do you keep stopping?”

The child answered, ” I am trying to look pretty. God keeps taking my picture.”
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A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, “Lord, grant me one wish.”

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”

The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to.”

The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, one that would honor and glorify me.”

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent
treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say ‘nothing’, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”

After a few minutes God said, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?”
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Cow, ant & a Donkey are debating on who is the greatest among three of

So here it goes…….. ……… .

Cow : I give 50 liters of milk every day and that’s why I am the greatest.

Ant : I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times
my own weight and that’s why I am the Greatest.

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Hello – Why are you scrolling down ???

It’s your turn now— please speak up………! !!!
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There was a tourist on a farm and he asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.
The farmer said, ”That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw.”

”So why does he have a wooden leg?” the tourist asked.

”Well one night our house caught on fire. And he came into our house and he woke us all up.”

”So,” the tourist asked again, ”why does that pig have a wooden leg?”

”Well, a pig that brave you can’t eat all at once!”
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One day a lawyer was riding in his limosine when he saw a guy eating grass He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, “Why are you eating grass”.
The man replied, “I’m so poor, I can’t afford a thing to eat.”

So the lawyer said, “Poor guy, come back to my house.”

The guys then said, “But I have a wife and three kids.” The lawyers told him to bring them along.

When they were all in the car, the poor man said, “Thanks for taking us back to your house, it is so kind of you.”

The lawyer said, “You’re going to love it there, the grass is a foot tall.”
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These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive
days.
The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake…

MONDAY: For sale – Vishanth has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 98407
16581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.

TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred in Vishanth’s ad yesterday. It
should have read, “One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 98407 16581
and
ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM.”

WEDNESDAY: Notice: Vishanth has informed us that he has received several
annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified
ad
yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: “For sale – Vishanth has a
sewing machine for sale; Cheap. Phone 98407 16581 after 7PM and ask for
Mrs. Mani who loves with him.

THURSDAY: Notice: I, Vishanth, have no sewing machine for sale. I
smashed
it. Don’t call 98407 16581 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have
not
been carrying on with Mrs. Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper
but she quit!

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