A Pakistani tourist after a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of Delhi found himself needing to urinate badly. After a long search he could not find any place to you-know, and eventually couldn’t control himself and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself.
As soon as he had just started you-know-what, a Delhi police official approached him, ‘Hey, What do you think you’re doing here?’
Pakistani tourist: ‘Sorry I have to Pee’
Police : ‘No PP here okay ? Follow me.’
The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around.
Police: ‘PP here….. and have a nice day’.
Pakistani tourist : ‘Oh Sir, ……. that’s very nice of you, is this Indian courtesy?’
Police: ‘No…….this is The Pakistani Embassy!’
______________________________________________________

Two guys, an Indian, a Pakistani are out walking together one day. These 2 guys come across a lantern. When they rub it, a Genie pops out of it.
‘I will give you each one wish, that’s two wishes total,’ says the Genie.
The Pakistani said, ‘I want a wall around Pakistan, so that no neighbors or infidels can come into our Paki land.’ With a blink of the Genie’s eye, ‘POOF’ there was a huge wall around Pakistan.
‘Hmmmm’, the Indian asks, ‘I’m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.’ The Genie explains, ‘Well, it’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds Pakistan. Nothing can get in or out.’
So the Indian says, ‘Fill it up with water.’
______________________________________________________

An elderly Punjabi admitted to the intensive care department of a hospital requested that he take lessons in French. The doctor was puzzled and asked him why.

“Well, French is the language of heaven,” he sighed. “I want to be able to communicate with everyone in heaven if I die.”

“But how are you so sure that you will end up in heaven? You might go to hell. What good will French do you then?” asked the doctor.

“That will no problem. I am fluent in Punjabi.”
______________________________________________________

Santa was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”

Tired of his boasting, his boss called him bluff, “OK, Santa how about Tom Cruise?”

“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.”

So Santa and boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, “Santa! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!”

Although impressed, Santa’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Santa that he thinks his knowing Cruise was just lucky.

“No, no, just name anyone else,” Santa says.

“President Bush,” his boss quickly retorts.

“Yes, I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.”

And off they go. At the White House, George W. spots Santa on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Santa, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Santa, who again implores him to name anyone else.

“The Pope,” his boss replies.

“Sure!” says Santa. “My folks are from Poland, and I’ve known the Pope a long time.”

So off they fly to Rome. Santa and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Santa says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.”

And Santa disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Santa emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

By the time Santa returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss’ side, Santa asks, “What happened?”

His boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, “Who’s that on the balcony with Santa Singh?”
______________________________________________________

An American, Japanese, and Santa were sitting in the sauna. Suddenly
there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the
beeping stopped.
The others looked at him questioningly. “That’s my pager,” he said, “I have
a microchip under the skin of my arm.”
A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear.
When he finished he explained, “That’s my mobile phone. I have a microchip
in my hand. Santa felt low-tech and inferior. He didn’t know what to
do to be as impressive as the American & the Japanese. He decided to take a
break in the toilet.
When he returned, he didn’t realize that there was a piece of toilet paper
got stuck and hanging from his backside. The others raised their eyebrows
and said, “Wow! What’s that?”
Instead of being embarrassed, inspiration struck his mind. Santa
explained, “I’m getting a FAX. . . . .”

Popularity: 5% [?]

No related posts.