It was Santa Singh’s wedding anniversary.

‘Shall we have tandoori chicken to celebrate the Occasion?’ Mrs.Santa Singh said.

‘Why take it out on the poor chicken for a mistake we did’ replied Santa Singh.
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Santa Singh went to Banta Singh’s House and said
“Oye Banteya, lets go to London”

Banta Singh replied “Yes Santa, par mainu English nahin aandi” (I can’t speak English)

Santa Singh assures Banta Singh that his English skills are Better than Average, and that He’d take care of him in London

Santa and Banta Reach London, and Pretty soon are sauntering down the middle of a fairly busy road!
A Gori Mem Pulls up behind them in her Austin Princess and Starts of in English
…… Mr. Singh ,,, You are jay-walking BLAH BLAH don’t you have any regard For the traffic rules in this country … etc.. etc..
Santa Singh turns around, looks at the Gori Mem, and Starts rattling off the following at a fairly brisk Pace.

To the Principal, Government High secondary school, Village Noorpur, Post Office Noorpur, Tehsil Jalandhar, District Jalandhar, Punjab, India. Sir … I am having severe stomach aches since yesterday, and my family doctor has recommended bed rest! …. Please grant me two days sick leave Your’s Obediently …. Santa Singh.
The Gori is quite baffled at the sudden outburst from Mr. Singh, and quitely gets into her car and leaves
Banta Singh is amazed. He runs up to Santa and says
“Oye Santa, tu taan phate chak dite”! Us gori de takkar di angrazi bol ke”
(You put that gori back in her place, your English sounds better than hers)
Santa Shrugs off Banta and says: “oye yeh taa kuch bhi nahin, je jaada tain tain kardi na …. mainu ‘Thirsty Crow’ te ‘Greedy Daag’ Dono aande se dono suna dene se”
(that was only a sample, if she would have stuck around I would have recited ‘thirsty crow’ and ‘Greedy dog’ for her as well).
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It was a time of Air Raids, and Blackouts Santa Singh bumps into Banta Singh – somewhere in the Pind {village}Banta is listening to the news from Radio Pakistan! on his transistor
Santa: “oye Banta tu dushmaan ke khabra kyon sun raha hai …… All India Radio kyo nahin? {Why are you listening to the Pakistani Propaganda … and not All India Radio?}
Banta: “oye Maine socha dushmaan ke bijli phook kar uska nuksaan karoon” {I’m sabotaging them by wasting their electricity}
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Santa and Banta are riding home on their 350 Enfield Bullet (mobike), they’re drunk at usual the time is about 2 in the morning (AM). Approaching from the other side is a Shaktimaan truck (used by the Indian Army: it is wider than most).
Santa-Banta the dare-devils that they are decide to cut through the two approaching motorcycles. (With a wide body the Shaktimaan has head lamps that are wider apart) and do just that only to be knocked into a ditch by the Army Truck.

They are badly injured but still conscious. Santa shakes his head … and says to Banta

“aj kal motorcycle wale bhi vich baans ban ke chalaan lag gaye hun”

(they’re tying bamboos between bikes and riding them these days)
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Santa Singh gave Banta Singh a birthday present … ‘Para jump’. Banta is in the plane as it is flying towards the drop zone at 15,000 ft. The Instructor is explaining the procedures to Banta Singh.

Instructor
“chaal maaron toan baad … ais rip cord nu khichna. Chatri khul jayege. Phair you sail down and land.”
“jai chatri nahin khule … ess emergency cord nu khichna … parachute jaroor khulege. Then you sail down and land;”
“Thalle truck khalota hoyega … uss vich bai ke, Base Camp te aa jana ;”

Banta Singh jumps off the plane, and is quite panic stricken, but remembers to pull the rip cord … but … nothing happens.
He panics … but then remembers to pull the emergency.
Nothing happens … he’s falling from the sky like a piece of stone.

“&*@!*%& thalle truck bhi nahin hona” … exclaims the disgruntal Banta

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